RED CARD HOMOPHOBIA

Keep hate out of the world's beautiful game.
 
HomeHome  SearchSearch  RegisterRegister  Log in  

 

 Teen Suicides in the news

Go down 
AuthorMessage
jenn

jenn

Posts : 3
Location : Colorado, USA

Teen Suicides in the news Empty
PostSubject: Teen Suicides in the news   Teen Suicides in the news EmptyFri Oct 01, 2010 9:47 am

Hi guys!

So I brought this up yesterday over at lj, and it was suggested that I bring the discussion over here. Mainly, if anyone has thoughts or would just like to discuss the recent upturn in gay teen suicides here in the U.S. It's not directly related to homophobia in sports in football, but I do think its important to discuss, because homophobia anywhere impacts homophobia everywhere.

It saddens me such much to read about these tragic deaths. With the failure to repeal DADT, this just seems like another knock for gay rights here in the United States. Its been awhile since I've been in high school, so I guess I just assumed that high schools had changed a little bit (I mean the cliques never change), that it was relatively safe, in liberal areas and larger cities, to be openly gay, but perhaps not.

Thoughts, comments, things you'd like to share or discuss?
Back to top Go down
tonstant_weader
Admin
tonstant_weader

Posts : 43
Age : 39
Location : Boston, MA

Teen Suicides in the news Empty
PostSubject: Re: Teen Suicides in the news   Teen Suicides in the news EmptySat Oct 02, 2010 11:49 am

I bemoan this student's tragic death. That being said, I hope it will not be in vain as this story is such a major one that I hope it affects change in New Jersey and beyond.

I think the other element of this case that disturbs me is the "privacy" element. I mean, taping roommates having sex has happened before. It's the part that really gets to me and in an online sharing world, it's inevitable that cyber-pranking, bullying, etc. will just continue to rise. The thing is, nothing goes away on the internet, and I'm not sure many teens realize it will affect them decades from now.

It's for the New Jersey prosecutors to decide whether the defendants taped BECAUSE the roommate was gay. (If they were just trying to prank the roommate and didn't care that he was gay, I could still see this happening and having unintended consequences. It could be less about malice than lack of thinking, but I don't know the situation enough.) I'm more worried about the fact that at any given moment students are encouraging each other to surreptitiously tape, take photos of funny looking people on the train or at bars (this happens all the time here), and think nothing of posting the image of someone they don't know. People may be accidentally hurting someone's job, marriage, relationship, etc. unintentionally because lack of privacy is being normalized.
Back to top Go down
http://twitter.com/NotoriousCLH
teetrinker
Admin
teetrinker

Posts : 120
Age : 42
Location : Nürnberg, Germany

Teen Suicides in the news Empty
PostSubject: Re: Teen Suicides in the news   Teen Suicides in the news EmptySun Oct 03, 2010 7:39 am

As the media don't report about the suicide much here in Germany I ask my question here and perhaps you U.S. girls know more about it. Why he committed suicide? I mean, because of people around him found out about him being homosexual or more as he felt ashamed about him being taped? Does someone know? I just ask as I see in many blogs and journals that people treat this as an act against homosexuals, but I'm not sure if it is more a general "Everything is allowed in internet even to bash, mob and lambast" problem. That's why I ask.
Back to top Go down
conni



Posts : 3
Age : 44
Location : North Carolina, USA

Teen Suicides in the news Empty
PostSubject: Re: Teen Suicides in the news   Teen Suicides in the news EmptySun Oct 03, 2010 4:39 pm

Unless they find a suicide note, we'll never know for certain. However, he posted to a gay men's forum about feeling threatened by his roommate, uncomfortable going to university authorities to request a housing switch (because he didn't feel they would support him, or because he'd have a worse roommate), and generally unsafe.

We don't know if he was out to his family, and this act was a forcible outing -- aside from the vile invasion of privacy angle.

The Advocate, a gay news magazine, has some discussion of it.
Back to top Go down
http://obligatedtoexaggerate.blogspot.com
tonstant_weader
Admin
tonstant_weader

Posts : 43
Age : 39
Location : Boston, MA

Teen Suicides in the news Empty
PostSubject: Re: Teen Suicides in the news   Teen Suicides in the news EmptySun Oct 03, 2010 6:09 pm

I hadn't read that Advocate piece, thanks. Obviously the AP and a lot of other news sources are being restrained at the moment (which believe it or not I applaud them for), but I'm sure that as more info comes out and the bias crime (like a hate crime in New Jersey law) indictments come out it will be more mainstream.

It is amazing from a historical perspective that they're using the word homophobia because during the Matthew Shepard murder back in 1998 the press and atmosphere was MUCH different.

Forcible outing is always horrible to me. A lot of discrimination factors - being a woman, being a minority, etc. - are not something a person can hide easily. The added stress of not being out because you don't feel safe is something I can't imagine living with.

Then again, the flipside is there are factions of the homosexual press who want people to be out in order to normalize (and thus make it better for others). The famous Out Magazine cover with Anderson Cooper and Jodie Foster, for instance. Hopefully this case will get people/press re-thinking about outing in general.
Back to top Go down
http://twitter.com/NotoriousCLH
conni



Posts : 3
Age : 44
Location : North Carolina, USA

Teen Suicides in the news Empty
PostSubject: Re: Teen Suicides in the news   Teen Suicides in the news EmptySun Oct 03, 2010 6:25 pm

This link came across my facebook feed. As did this one. The second one might hit some of the points Teetrinker was asking about.

Bullying is a horrible problem in US schools, and it makes me sick that school authorities are still pulling the "ignore them and they'll leave you alone" crap they pulled 20 years ago when I was in high school. Homophobia in our culture fosters anti-gay bullying. (Bullies will pick on anyone they perceive as weaker or lower on the social ladder. Right now, gays are way down there.)

I sympathize with the idea that having out celebrities normalizes it and gives gay teens role models. At the same time, no one should be pressured or forced to be out. (And at the same time, having to pretend to be otherwise, like Rock Hudson did, and live a lie, or to hide your life and go to award shows solo or with co-stars rather than your partner is a crappy way to live.)

It should be a decision made by the individuals involved, not an a-hole roommate, a vindictive ex, an aggressive paparazzo...
Back to top Go down
http://obligatedtoexaggerate.blogspot.com
SweetEcstasy



Posts : 2

Teen Suicides in the news Empty
PostSubject: Re: Teen Suicides in the news   Teen Suicides in the news EmptyWed Oct 06, 2010 2:06 am

There has been this media blitz here in Houston about a 13 year old boy that committed suicide after being bullied for being gay. The parents had contacted this school about the persistent problem of their son being bullied, but the school never did anything about it. Now, after his death, the school now denies knowing about the problem. There are plenty of parents that attest to the fact that the school does nothing about their bullying problem. It's sad that these educational institutions pretend that bullying does not exist. How can we trust them with the future of the world if they can't protect them from being harmed.

Bullying is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone. It is such a vile vicious act. I've been fortunate enough to have never been bullied, but even without being bullied the process of accepting your homosexuality is incredibly difficult. At 13, you are trying to understand that you are different, and at that age you want nothing but to be accepted. You think about the pressures of life. There are certain things that you have been taught are milestones in life: being married and having kids. You aren't allowed to marry in certain places and its often frown upon, and you can't procreate with people of the same sex. You can't really can't date like everyone else, because the most likely thing is that you will be flirting with someone that doesn't feel the same attraction for you. It's just a stage of confusion and feeling out of place. It's a process that sometimes takes years and years to accept.

So, imagine going through that, and having people make you feel inferior and unworthy. "Why did I have to be this way? Why does this happen to me? Why do I deserve to live? Why do I have to suffer?" I can just imagine this young boy asking himself those questions. My heart really goes out to him. It's sad that it ended up like this when so many things could have been done to prevent it. I'm angry at the school for being so damn impotent at dealing with the problem, at the parents of the bullies for raising such hateful human beings, and at society for making it acceptable to use homosexuality as a way to make you feel less. And, you hear it all around you even without being bullied. People using "faggot" to insult people and using the phrase "that's gay" to mean horrible. I perceive them as ignorant so it doesn't bother me that much, but when I remember that there are kids who grow up believing that its wrong to be the way they are it infuriates me.

I believe I add to the problem. I often shy away from the gay community, even though it is my community. I never bring up my homosexuality to anyone unless they ask me because I'm afraid of making people uncomfortable. And, that exact thinking is what caused this young man to kill himself: that it's not right to be gay.

I'm deeply sadden for this young boy even though I never met him. It's a shame his life was cut short because of these low-life trolls. Life is unfair like that sometimes. I can only hope that he is at peace with himself wherever he is now.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




Teen Suicides in the news Empty
PostSubject: Re: Teen Suicides in the news   Teen Suicides in the news Empty

Back to top Go down
 
Teen Suicides in the news
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» My Interesting Story About Rhem 4 + Future News
» Kenora!!! Yesh! *Good News And Bad News*
» Marvel Legends 2012!
» Jonathon Boakes and The Last Crown
» News For Alpha Polaris

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
RED CARD HOMOPHOBIA :: DISCUSSIONS / NEWS ABOUT... :: Homophobia In General-
Jump to: